One of the first things that I read online about supervised visitations filled me with fear and anger regarding these people who would be hovering over our shoulders for the unforeseeable future. These “monsters” who would tell us what to do and judge our ability to interact with my grandchildren, according to what I read, were only there to gather information to sever our relationship with them.
This idea made us so nervous that we could barely enjoy our visits at first!
All we could think was “who are they to judge? They do not even have children. They are still in college! They do not even KNOW us!”
The answer to the primary question, the one that everyone online kept asking “who are they to judge,” is simple…THEY ARE EVERYTHING!
You will NOT hear from your worker! You will NOT hear from the GAL! The judge will NOT watch you with your children! The DA will NOT attend these visits! The foster parents will NOT report about your activities with your children.
The ONLY person who will know how you spend your time with your children is the provider of your supervised visitation. The ONLY person who knows how much you love them is the provider of your supervised visitation. The ONLY person that knows how much your children love and need you is the provider of your supervised visitation. The ONLY person who can look at the judge and tell them whether or not there is any true cause for concern is the provider of your supervised visitation.
You do not have to like them. You can hate what they stand for. You can be disgusted with the organization where they are employed. You can have lots of emotions. But DO NOT question their authority because, like it or not, they can make or break your case.
We were fortunate to have (our third provider) who honestly paid attention to the time that we spent with the kids. If your provider does not seem to take note, then speak to someone about a change but do so respectfully. Work with the providers of supervised visitations. Take their advice. Ask them for advice. Show them that all that matters to you is the safety and well being of your children. If they are going to write a journal of your visits (and they will) give them something positive to write. They ARE JUDGING because this is their job. When their judgment is read, make sure it is in your favor.
Keep in mind, they only know what they are told about you, CHANGE THEIR MINDS!!!
Whatever it takes, bring home your children!