Save Yourself: Your Children will Need you When they Return from Foster Care

If we would have entered that courtroom having forgotten who we were as a family, then we would not have been able to portray this to the judge. If we had entered that courtroom looking defeated, then we would have been defeated.

Many years ago, we were called the “boat people,” because every time we went into the local thrift store we were looking for attire for our next cruise. This was just our thing to do. Vacationing is a way of life and so many people would ask how we were able to afford this. Well, the first clue is that we were called this in the local thrift store. I mean, seriously, when were we ever gonna wear those dresses again? Vacationing defined us. People were always asking about this trip or that location and we did this on minimal income.

When the girls turned 6 months old (the youngest allowed on a cruise ship), yep, you guessed it, we were boarding in Miami! It was the perfect trip as we convoyed three vehicles from West Virginia to enjoy this milestone, this entrance into the family addiction to vacationing.

In March of 2017, we were approaching the one year mark on our CPS case. The house was empty and our momentum was beginning to decline. The lawyers had told us to stop looking for any other explanations in the case and to just use everything that we had done to show our side in court. The court date was approaching and idle time began to take its toll.

Then, we remembered who we are and how much of “us” the case had taken. We spent time with the children that week at our visits, packed up the van, and my mother (Nanny), my daughter (Ashley), and I made the drive to Port Canaveral to board a ship.

WHAT!!!! People were quick to ask if we had lost our minds. “Won’t this look bad in your case?” “How can you have fun while the children are going through this?” “How can you afford this with all of the legal fees and associated costs?” “This is soooo irresponsible.”

In short, our response was, “we had no choice.”

If we would have entered that courtroom having forgotten who we were as a family, then we would not have been able to portray this to the judge. If we had entered that courtroom looking defeated, then we would have been defeated. We had spent nearly a year looking through medical files, legal cases, attending visits, attending doctor appointments, sitting up at night crying in the silence. This had drained our very spirits and, when there was no more research to do, we felt hopeless.

So, we found ourselves again. We found our strength. We took a moment to remember how important it is to enjoy each moment of our lives and the people who are in them. We laughed. We cried. We stared out into the horizon and envisioned what was just on the other side.

When we came home, we approached that horizon. We entered that courtroom claiming that our family would be returned. And they were!

CPS takes everything that they can from you. They not only alienate you from your children but also from your very being, your soul until there is nothing left of you to fight for. Hold on to who you are because, WHEN your children come home, they are going to need that person to be there!


You are Important Too!


Author: smudgesonmymirror

A dynamic mother/daughter duo that has overcome obstacles and chosen to embrace our experiences rather than to change our view of ourselves. Lovingly labeled by Gigi or Mommy, the tone and messages in each post will reflect generational viewpoints and family continuances.

5 thoughts on “Save Yourself: Your Children will Need you When they Return from Foster Care”

  1. I wish the internet and social media was as big now as it was when CPS took my babies. They lie they cheat they do not think of what is right for the children. They tricked me to getting charges on me. And gave me impossible case plan. They even told me I had to divorce my husband. And then changed court dates without telling me.. And to top it all off,,, we had it that for any reason i could not get them back my parents would get them…….
    But this did not happened. My parents were taking classes for Grandparents raising grandchildren. And CPS went behind our backs and let the fosters Adopt my 3 babies. With out any knowledge to me my husband or my parents. We didn’t find out for 2 Months. It was like watching myself die. And to have to think of the horrible things my babies went thur with these people that CPS gave them to makes me so angry and sick. 12 years after they were gone i got a friend request on Instagram and it was my oldest child. They had been searching for us for 5 years. And a year after talking with them in secret
    MY son asked to be amanspated so he could come back home. My 2 girls want to too but they won’t let them and now won’t let my son see or talk to his sister’s. They hates Tyler lives with them and made life for the people bad too. But CPS did not help me at all and even put my kids in danger when they were never in danger in my home. We were just poor and my husband was self medicating himself after the death of his mom , pawpaw , ain’t and niece all within a 6 month period. But it did not matter. CPS DID NOT WANT TO HELP US….for some reason they just wanted to take my kids away from MY husband bc he was in foster, his mom was in foster and the cps worked was my husband’s when he was a kid. And he just knew that kids were not suppose to be in this FAMILY.


    1. It is such a tragedy the way the system works against families and allow people to believe that they will get the help that they need. How long until your girls are old enough to leave? What a joyous reunion that will be for you all.


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