Ahhh, sobriety. In most instances, this means the lacking of mind-altering substances. I do not agree with this definition. In fact, this definition pisses me off! Sobriety, in my experience, is the same as conformity and I do NOT conform. I do not fall into some neat little category of empty nests and regrets. I do not believe that I must suffer through aging in a way that requires support groups and little yellow pills. I do not believe that I must live in a way that makes others dread getting older.
I mean, I am 40 and society has told me to dread this age. The “sober” me believed that everything that I wanted to do in life had to be done before the moment that I turned 40. After that, I was supposed to curl up in a little ball and do two things.
- Dwell on all of my losses from opportunities to loved ones.
- Wait to die. Wait to become a loss that someone else would dwell on.
Okay, maybe I am being dramatic because of the recent birthday but I still have so much to do and Damnit I am going to do it! I will not live soberly or somberly because of an age. I will not conform to society’s plan of aging. I will not be concerned about what is expected of me. In fact, I will not be concerned about what others think.
I have A LOT of regrets. I have made many mistakes along my way. I could spend the next stage of my life dwelling on these or, which I choose option number 2, I could get out there and make some more! Yes, I plan to regret lots of mistakes that I will make post-40 and perhaps, by the age of 50, I will be ready to dwell on these. But, ehhhhh, probably not!
Do not live life in moderation! Take in all of it that you can get!