I was sober once: Confessions of a woman who refuses to live in moderation

Ahhh, sobriety. In most instances, this means the lacking of mind-altering substances. I do not agree with this definition. In fact,  this definition pisses me off! Sobriety,  in my experience, is the same as conformity and I do NOT conform. I do not fall into some neat little category of empty nests and regrets. I do not believe that I must suffer through aging in a way that requires support groups and little yellow pills. I do not believe that I must live in a way that makes others dread getting older.

I mean, I am 40 and society has told me to dread this age. The “sober” me believed that everything that I wanted to do in life had to be done before the moment that I turned 40. After that, I was supposed to curl up in a little ball and do two things.

  1. Dwell on all of my losses from opportunities to loved ones.
  2. Wait to die. Wait to become a loss that someone else would dwell on.

Okay, maybe I am being dramatic because of the recent birthday but I still have so much to do and Damnit I am going to do it! I will not live soberly or somberly because of an age. I will not conform to society’s plan of aging. I will not be concerned about what is expected of me. In fact, I will not be concerned about what others think.

I have A LOT of regrets. I have made many mistakes along my way. I could spend the next stage of my life dwelling on these or, which I choose option number 2, I could get out there and make some more! Yes, I plan to regret lots of mistakes that I will make post-40 and perhaps, by the age of 50, I will be ready to dwell on these. But, ehhhhh, probably not!

Do not live life in moderation! Take in all of it that you can get!

“Gigi”

 

Author: smudgesonmymirror

A dynamic mother/daughter duo that has overcome obstacles and chosen to embrace our experiences rather than to change our view of ourselves. Lovingly labeled by Gigi or Mommy, the tone and messages in each post will reflect generational viewpoints and family continuances.

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