Taking Charge in your CPS Case

Be active. Be present. Be heard.

“Gigi”

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One of the most frequent complaints I read in the forums about CPS is that the lawyers do not submit the requests for different orders that the parent feels may help their case and bring their children home to them.  It feels as if we depend on our lawyers to actually do their jobs and speak up for us, their client, in a timely manner so that we do not have to spend years in the nightmare of CPS. Yeah, it feels just like that alongside a smack in the face that the world of family court does not actually work that way.

I was lucky to have a lawyer who readily listened to me and this required a great deal of his attention as you all now know that I can talk A LOT! However, I did not know that he would follow through with our conversations early in the case and decided that it was best to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. In other words, I kept him in the dark about my intentions at each move so as to avoid him redirecting what I aimed to request. I could not afford the element of doubt as I had to maintain my image of confidence.

I am not advising you to go against the advice of a lawyer but I am saying that if you are adamant that something should be done and you have done your research, then do not leave it up to them to get it done.

My grandson did, in fact, suffer from broken bones. The father was charged with these injuries and they removed the children stating that we must have known that he was abusive. Our job was to prove that we did not know. I mean, the fact that we took him immediately to the hospital and left the father sitting there the moment we knew what happened should have been an indicator that, had we known there were previous injuries, we would have done the same sooner.

Regardless, here we are with them telling us that we must have known. They said that it was impossible for us not to have known even though the doctors had stated that the only way to know a rib is broken is through an x-ray. But, CPS “knows more than the doctors” and therefore took my grandchildren.

There had to be some answer that would explain this. I had never seen or heard anything that would make me think that this man would harm his own child. I never believed my grandchildren were in danger. I began to look into the concepts of medical kidnapping. I got copies of medical records and began to learn about the everything from copper levels to osteogenesis imperfecta. That’s when things began to change in the case.

I arrived at the next MDT meeting toting every medical document I could carry along with a typed summary of what I believed to be true. Briefly, just as we entered the conference room, I told my lawyer that I wanted my grandson tested for OI. I had found the name and number of a geneticist that specialized in pediatric medicine and handed him this information.

As the meeting began, before the worker could even start to speak, my lawyer gave me the floor and I presented my case. The order was agreed and the tests were scheduled. The tests thankfully were negative but there were other tests and options to follow up on. At each meeting, I reported the findings and proposed the next steps. I knew every piece of medical record inside and out. I pushed for depositions and attended each of these. My presence and overwhelming attention to the possible explanations could not be dismissed.

When I first met the GAL, he stated that he needed some possible explanation for these injuries. I worked tirelessly to provide an explanation other than what was already known at the point that the children were removed by GPS. In the courtroom, the GAL made note of my position in the case as well as my efforts to find the truth at all costs. He then recommended that my case be dismissed.

When you need answers, find them. When they need answers, do the same. Your knowledge and confidence will win your case, not the lawyers or case plan.

 

Be active. Be present. Be heard.

“Gigi”

Blogging Journey Day 18: To New Friends

I believe that this was the primary reason for beginning this blog, to know that we are not alone and to let others know the same. Life is hard but it is so worth it and much more enjoyable when we have others to walk beside. So, thank you for being by our side.

WOW! I never would have guessed that only 18 days into this journey that we would have had a day yesterday with over 500 views reaching more than 1700 views to date. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting us know that we are not on this journey alone.

I believe that this was the primary reason for beginning this blog, to know that we are not alone and to let others know the same. Life is hard but it is so worth it and much more enjoyable when we have others to walk beside. So, thank you for being by our side.

There are so many different avenues that we discuss because there are so many different aspects of our lives that we feel others may also be encountering. A lot of our views have been related to our CPS case and I pray that we are providing a sense of hope for those who are going through this and a greater awareness to those who continue to believe the assumptions about CPS. Ashley has opened up about her relationship with Mikey and has found support from other men and women who have a significant other serving in the armed forces. There is a great pride for their loved ones but also a loneliness that can be lessened through these friendships. Ashley has also been able to connect with other mothers to discuss tips and swap stories. I have met countless of other families of children with Down’s Syndrome and we have been able to discuss the beauty of celebrating every milestone. You all have celebrated my Gloria’s birthday with us, prayed for my dear friend Heather as she nearly lost her life and underwent amputation. You have tagged along to the beach and heard the wisdom of my granddaughter, Clarabelle. There are so many journeys to come and more details to provide. We look forward to continuing to meet others and grow as a community who will overcome all obstacles together!

Together, we are better!

“Gigi”

Facing your Fears: Encountering Health Care after a CPS Abduction

The most important thing to remember from our CPS case is that my grandson has healed completely from his injuries and the state finally realized that his injuries were not caused by any wrongdoing on our behalf and returned full custody to their mother (Ashley). We carry with us a copy of the formal decision and transfer of custody. There is one in the van, one in the file cabinet, one in the diaper bag, and the list goes on. We are NEVER without this piece of paper.

But the paper does not give the details. The paper says that custody was returned but does not state that there was no fault on her part. The paper says that the children are hers, but it does not explain why she needs that paper.

As I stated in  We Blew Bubbles: Ten Minute Memories that Helped to Get Us Through, we did not stick around town once we had this paper. This means that we did not pick up any other paperwork including shot records so, when we reached our destination, we had to have these faxed from their pediatrician that had been used by the foster parents. Notably, this meant that the pediatrician was unaware that they would ever be sending these records out of state.

So, here we stood filling out the medical release form and knowing that we would have to send a copy of this document in order to prove that my daughter had the right to sign for the medical records for her own children. As Ashley discussed in CPS Stole My Peace Of Mind. , the fear is unreal when you live day to day wondering if the unthinkable could happen again. Could we be struck by lightning a second time? If we mention the case to these “mandated reporters,” would we have to answer questions again? Could they manipulate the situation and cause problems for our family?

Obviously, we would not put our fears above their medical needs and we stood next to one another and began to explain. Fortunately, the office took a copy of the paper and congratulated us on our reunification. The records were faxed and the office took excellent care of the children.  But the fear remains. What happens if she injures her self in gymnastics or he takes a hard hit in football? What happens when the first x-ray he has to have shows the healed fractures from his infancy? We will always have to explain, and we would have regardless of our case, but now we explain with a fear of one word being twisted into a tornado that could wreck our world.

Where fear exists, there is a reason!

“Gigi”