As We Ascend from the Ashes: It only gets better every day!

We have been through it. Hell, I guess everyone has in their own way and by no means is one person’s difficulties any greater than another’s. In fact, the perception of one’s own life cannot be viewed through anyone else’s eyes. When considering the concept of perception, I am drawn to another blogger’s discussion as to how to determine how much attention someone’s perception should actually be given to situations. I enjoyed reading this and I would certainly recommend a look if you are struggling with trying to force yourself into seeing a glass half full.

None the less, we all experience hard times and we all would like to believe that we can determine when to make the change to ascend from the ashes of misery.  I would love to tell you that this is true but, I do not like to make a habit of lying. In fact, through all of our hardships, sad times, moments of grief, and sleepless nights, we would tell ourselves that the next day, the next night, the next court date, or the next breath would be the moment that we would begin to rise. NOPE! Another sad memory, postponement, or obstacle would arise and we would fall even deeper into the belief that things would never get better.

But, do you know what? They did! And once we began to rise, we decided to soar!

You cannot talk your way out of a bad time. You cannot force your way out of depression or grief or hardships. But you can keep hope and know that, beyond the darkest moments, the clouds will be at your feet!

Of course, there are ways to get through these times without allowing yourself to sink. To ascend prompted another blogger to speak of the importance of being low enough to remind you to look up to God. Maybe this is why we experience hardships. Perhaps we need to be reminded that we are not alone.

Find your strength to get through the moment then ascend beyond your wildest dreams!

“Gigi”

You Cannot Impress CPS with Expensive Clothes (In fact, you may make your case worse)

Know your case like you know your child! Leave nothing to chance!

“Gigi”

When I was researching what to wear to CPS court (you can read more about that research here) I expected to find that name brand and fancy attire would help to show the judge that you had the financial means to support your child and that you paid close attention to every detail. After all, we are all aware that CPS is a money racket and that they often target members of the lower socioeconomic status group in order to minimize the ability of their opponent to fight them in a legal battle. Being poor somehow gives them the impression, or ability to make the impression, that a person cannot be stable enough, smart enough, or caring enough to raise a child. So, I thought that it would make sense to show them through my attire that we were not poor.

Granted, by no means do we typically wear expensive clothing. I have even bragged about our thrift store shopping. However, when it comes to my grandchildren, if I thought it would help, I would have found the means to do so. However, as I read deeper into the research, expensive clothing is considered offensive to many of the workers and, at times, even the judges. I found that this is due to three reasons:

  1. They already know your finances and can view your dress as a mockery.
  2. They may not be able to afford such attire and therefore you come across as a show-off.
  3. They may find that you spend more money on your own clothing than on your children.

Okay, so I may have not agreed with B on this list but I suppose we do not know everyone’s financial circumstances. So, I continued to read and found that modest clothing that is neat and clean is far more appropriate. We purchased new clothing for each court appearance but made certain that no labels were showing, the clothing was neatly pressed, and we were confident yet comfortable in what we were wearing. This helped to show that we felt ourselves in this type of clothing and prevented the court from assuming that we were being phony to gain favor.

 

I continue to note that every single detail of your case will make a difference in the outcome. So many people will tell you that it is an impossible battle and, without a careful strategy, that is exactly what it is. But, if you continue to pay attention to the details and refuse to fail, then your children will come home to you where they belong. You did not put yourself into this situation but you can find your way out of it!

 

Know your case like you know your child! Leave nothing to chance!

“Gigi”